Relationship struggles can often be more difficult when you have kids together. You need to be able to weigh up what’s best for your relationship with what’s best for your kids. Below are a few tips of how to get through a rough patch while still carrying out your duty as parents.
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Make some time for just you two
Many couples start to develop problems when they’re not spending quality time together. Kids tend to steal a lot of the attention and you could find that while you’re always together, you’re not talking to each other often. Consider getting someone to babysit the kids for the evening so that the two of you can spend some time together alone. You could book a date or you could plan to stay at home for the evening and talk things out. Planning new activities together can often be a great way of rekindling a dying relationship, however you should make sure that there is still time to talk while trying this activity.
Don’t lose focus on the kids
It’s easy to get caught up dealing with your conflict and overlook problems that you kids may be having. Make sure that while you’re upping your ‘couple time’, you’re also still spending quality time with your kids and being there for them when they need it. Some kids may act up for attention if they feel they are being neglected. If you don’t have the time for your kids’ issues, you may also find that they stop telling you about these issues altogether, leading them to hide information from you.
Decide whether you’re just in it for the kids
If the relationship has been sour for a while and you feel that there’s not much love there, you may have to consider whether you’re just staying together for the kids. While it may seem like you’re helping to give them a stable upbringing by staying together, you could find that it creates more problems such as exposing them to more arguments as well as giving them an unhealthy idea of what a relationship should look like. Breakups with kids involved aren’t easy but can often be the best option for everyone. If you think it’s not going to be an amicable breakup, you may want to first research into your legal rights and educate yourself on aspects such as Form E divorce and child maintenance. A solicitor may be able to help you with this.
Don’t use your kids as a weapon
When going through a rough patch, a lot of parents use kids to emotionally blackmail their partner into doing things. Others may even try to turn their kids against their parents in order to encourage support for what they believe in. As much as possible, kids should be left out of the conflict and not used as weapons to win arguments. Keep arguments about you and your partner and speak respectfully about one another to your kids.